I wanted to say something about being at the welfare office yesterday. Before I relate my comments about, "Oh sure, I like going to the welfare office, you always feel so welcome and respected when you sit and wait for an hour, watching a wall 36 inches away, that's like 950mm, with foot marks and filth and retched colours, dark with florescent light, to beg a bit for some food stamps..." I'd like to mention or justify going to welfare. It isn't looked upon as a very good thing by most. Welfare bum, is a term we may even still hear. In our society, as in most before and now, someone that didn't work was either rich, a government official or a bum. I managed to have some people believe that I tended away from staying long at jobs that I grew to hate. Sometimes I grew tired of them even if I liked them. I always said it was because I would rather write. Sometimes I actually did write. I am still of the opinion that if one can work, one should. But I am also of the opinion that it sometimes isn't the case that one has a job. For example, I just got fired from a job that paid not bad when they remembered to pay and I had no business not submitting to every confused demand of the boss. That is the case sometimes. One thinks the boss is somehow displeasing and either quits or gets fired for saying something not supportive of the ideas of the boss. And no one should take this freedom away. If someone can't or decides he just doesn't want to work and he wants a little cash to survive, in a system that pisses money away on many pointless adventures like environment murdering tools or billion dollar war toys, that system can afford to give money to the people that have a job giving out the money reluctantly and the system can afford the few dollars that the welfare bum, which under these social laws is entitled, and no one should make any of these people, no matter for what reason they are social bums, be it art or drug abuse, feel that someone is begrudging them the few dollars they get to help pay their rent in some small dark apartment that cost too much and stinks like fish.

I agree that some tend to abuse this right to minimum survival. Sometimes it is really true that that person could get a job. Let that person decide that. I've decided this time that I don't want a job because I want to have my own company, not because it will be less work, it is definitely much more, the boss is always kicking me in the ass and I can't get away from him for one half of one second ever in my whole life. And I got no choice but to work for him if I don't want to work for someone else. It's a bit of a paradox perhaps, I'll quote my dear mother here, and I'm serious, she is dear to me, "I never knew anyone who worked so hard at not having a job." And the thing is, she is exactly right. It has been my life's goal and that is exactly why the little problem about not having money and taking a course paid for me by unemployment and having them give me a thousand marks a month to live and me wanting even more if I can get it from the welfare people, all that means absolutely nothing compared to the point that I am working on something I want to work on and will be working for exactly who I want to work for, even though I am really working for anyone that uses our free services, I mean, that sounds like a pretty right on thing.

And to tell you the truth, I'd have a fairly hard time finding much to complain about, only thing I might still want after a little more writing, is a woman. Perhaps a little silly to think of such things here, but that's also part of the reason why I want to work rather then rot away slowly and write for no one ever to read, I'd like to afford to enjoy the company of a woman. True you can find a woman if you have no money, but you can't decide you want to have kids with the kind of no money an unknown writer would have, namely none, so that to is a reason why I need to build a brilliant Internet product so that I can attract attention to myself, so that instead of being an unknown writer, I can earn money with this product, write in the same product, give the product away so everyone will want it, make people read my writing if they are looking for anything to read in the moment they are using this product, and if I don't make money from my writing, I can at least enjoy some success by giving away a product that everyone wants and having some of them read what I write and have some of them even enjoy it.

And if you have read to this point, either you have skipped the whole first bit or actually read it, and since this wasn't even with a topic and not really much of a story or to the point about the story, it is a good chance that you have read this because in some strange way you enjoy reading what I write. That being the case, I guess you could say I've done not a bad job.

I gave this a short reread to see what I was getting at and still am not completely sure but I think it sort of makes sense if you really try hard and work at it. Perhaps I wrote this like that on purpose to make the style fit the theme, but I'll admit, it isn't true. I just wrote it.

Was there going to be a short together making final point?

No, I think will just stop. I've got to see about some web cam information. Web madness is great. Better than any drug I might have tried if I was in a land where they were legal, I mean like coffee or something. But let me warn you, I am taking too much of it and may soon need treatment. The best treatment is of course: Walk away from the computer. Just walk away.

And come back later. Not too long though, or you will miss too much.

Oh, I almost forgot why you should be reading my writing. I write because I am a writer. Maybe I'm a writer because I write. I don't always write, I'm not always a writer. When I write though, I am a writer and I write to be read even if I say I don't, because some is better not read, and you are the reason I write. A writer can write without having readers but that is pretty pointless. An actor can act in a dark basement, an artist can paint pictures on wood that is burnt in a fire that he makes to stay warm in his cardboard box that he lives in under the city over pass, but it is somehow nicer when that artist can survive with his art, be it what it is. Sure a writer can write to learn about himself, but ultimately I am not so different from anyone else and when I see things and write about them, they can also make sense to someone else who has thought something like that but didn't take time out to think about what he thought about. A reader can read and say, ya, that sounds reasonable, even if the writer isn't.

I don't have to write for everyone. I'm the boss when it comes to my writing, it's almost something you can't take away from a writer because a writer can only write what he can write. And what was the thing I was going to remember? Ask Bill.