chapter 46

So Israel set off on his way, stopping off at Beer-sheba to offer sacrifices to the God of Isaac. His dad.

Vs 2: “Jacob! Jacob!” He answered, “Here.” EQ. Like roll call in school.

I am God. Don’t fear. Joseph will watch you die.

So Jacob set out from Beer-sheba with his family, wealth and livestock. Reuben’s sons and his whole brothers and their son’s and Dinah and Jacob were 33.

Those were from Leah. And those from Zilpah numbered 16.

From Rachael 14. And her maid Bilhah 7 and counting Joseph and his family and Jacob, they were 70 persons.

It is probable that they also brought their many slaves; it is not said. But when they are slaves in the next book, they have many slaves.

And Joseph went out in his chariot to meet them.

Vs. 30: Then Israel said to Joseph, “Now I can die, having seen for myself that you are still alive.” EQ.

“When the Pharaoh asks what’s your occupation, say breeders of livestock.”

Vs. 34: “… For all shepherds are abhorrent to Egyptians.” EQ.

And every Auslander knows it is nice to be abhorrent. Keeps you on your toes.


chapter 47

Joseph told the Pharaoh that the 66 and their flocks had arrived and the Pharaoh said, “Well, shit, give them the best land. Maybe they can look after my flocks and herd as well.”

Joseph took Jacob to see the Pharaoh.

“How old are you.”

“My travels here on earth are to date 130 years, nothing compared to my great ancestors.”

“That’s nice.”

So Jacob went to the region of Rameses and ate much bread.

Now watch closely here as we explain the process of ownership and worldwide slavery.

“We have no more money, and yet we are hungry.”

“Give me your livestock.”

And the next year they came to Joseph and he said, “Give me your land.”

Vs. 20: So Joseph gained possession of all the farm land of Egypt for Pharaoh, EQ.

Vs. 22: Only the land of the priests he did not take over, EQ.

So Joseph told the people, you can now seed the land and pay 20% tax to the Pharaoh.

Vs. 26: And Joseph made it into a land law in Egypt, which is still valid, that a fifth should be Pharaoh’s; only the land of the priests did not become Pharaoh’s. 27. Thus Israel settled in the country of Egypt, in the region of Goshen; they acquired holdings in it, and were fertile and increased greatly. EQ.

17 years later, Jacob was about 147. It was time for Israel to die.

So they did the hand under leg ritual and Joseph swore to bury Israel with his fathers.


chapter 48

Jacob does the blessing for Joseph’s sons.

Vs. 5: Now, your two sons, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt, shall be mine; Ephraim and Manasseh shall be mine… EQ.

My question is, your narrator, how many different persons, men, priests, wrote Genesis. I ask this question based on the many style changes.

Anyway, Jacob told them some shit while he crossed his arms the wrong way and held the boys’ heads.

Bla bla bla God bla bla Abraham and Isaac.

Vs. 16: And may they be teeming multitudes upon the earth.” EQ.

“Why you bless them backwards.”

“I wanna. It reminds me how I robbed my brother.” Jacob told Joseph he could have the mountainside he killed some Amorites for.


chapters 49 - 50