chapter 04:

Adam, the man, sexed his wife and she had Cain. Thank the Lord. Then Eve had Abel. He was a sheep herder. Cain grew grain.

Cain took an offering to the Lord and so did Abel. Well, the Lord was happy about the offering from Abel and not impressed with Cain.

So Cain was pissed off and took Abel out in the field and murdered him.

“Hey Cain, where’s your brother.”

“How the hell would I know.”

“I saw you murder him so leave the farm and wander the earth.”

“What. Out there in the world someone might kill me.”
Now from where would this someone be.

Just a minor contradiction, so we go on and the Lord tells Cain, he promises him. “If anyone kills you, I’ll kill them seven times.” So Cain went to Nod. That’s east of Eden.

Cain had sex with his wife. Out came Enoch so Cain founded a city and called it Enoch. Enoch had a kid, Irad. Irad had Mehujel and Mehujel had Methusael, who had Lamech.

Lamech took two wives. Adah and Zillah. Adah made Jabel and he made all the tent dwelling folk that hung with the herds. Brother Jubal had all the sons and sons of sons who played the lyre and the pipe. Tubal-cain made things out of iron and copper. His sister was Naamah.

And just to show how friendly God’s family was vs. 23: …

“I have slain a man for wounding me,
And a lad for bruising me.
If Cain is avenged sevenfold
Then Lamech seventy-sevenfold.” EQ.

Adam sexed his wife again and they got Seth. He had Enosh and he said, Oh God.


chapter 05

They tell us Adam lived to be 930, which simply is not true. Either a year was a moon cycle or the whole thing is fiction.

Oh. Now can that be. A fairy tale made holy by tyrannical dictators keeping the masses ignorant so they stay good slaves and soldiers.

Most important in this chapter is that Noah is born and when he was 500 he had Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Noah was to be a liberator from God’s curse.


chapter 06

God’s descendants started sexing up mortals and the Lord put an age cap on. No more living more than 120 years.

The Nephilims were divine and their sons were super heroes.

The Lord was bored with his creation and decided to kill every creature.

Vs. 7: The Lord said, “I will blot out from the earth the men whom I created – men together with beasts, and birds of the sky; for I regret that I made them.” EQ.

Just for the record. The Lord God is a fucked up asshole.

But he liked Noah. Told him to build a boat in the desert.

“You build a boat, I’ll make a flood.”

“Okay God, kill ‘em all, what the fuck.”

So Noah built a 3 decker boat for 300,000,000 different kinds of animals. Species of animals.



chapters 07 - 09