chapter 07:

The Lord god is an asshole.

He told Noah “Go into the ark.” So Noah did. With family and 2 of everything and 14 of clean animals and birds.

So for you idiots that think such a thing is possible, we are talking several billion animals on a boat. Elephants lizards, lions and bunnies. Never mind all the plants.

And for God to murder all the rest of life on earth, he imported water from the sky and under the ground.

And it rained and God was pleased because he murdered everyone.

Except for Noah and family.

You mother fuckers who teach this shit as real need a good ass kicking.

Tyrannical, whimsical, criminally insane Lord God terror shit. Fuck off.


chapter 08

So the Earth was covered in water 150 days while God was off on his space tripping adventures, then he remembered.

“Oh, shit, I covered the Earth in water. I better blow a wind.”

On the 7th day of the seventh month the boat landed on mount Ararat. In the 10th month, mountain tops could be seen.

After another 40 days, Noah sent a raven out to spread its wings. It didn’t come back. So Noah sent a pigeon. It came back with a leaf.

Another 2 months and 27 days and the land was dry.

Vs. 16: “Come out of the ark …” EQ.

So Noah and family came out with the several billion animals.

Now would anyone care to do the logistics of 14 months of maintaining a floating zoo.

If you come up with, simply impossible, you got it.

So what’s the first thing Noah does. He builds an alter and burns some of every clean animal and every bird.

Because the Lord loves the smell of burnt animals and birds.

“Well, that was fun, but I won’t destroy the whole Earth again. Man can’t help it if he is like I made him.”

Is God an idiot.

Or is the holy bible just a silly fairy tale.


chapter 09

Religion is for illiterate idiots.

God blessed Noah, told him to eat whatever he wanted to. But not the life blood.

Anyone who kills a man will be killed by a man ‘cause they look like Me.

Be fertile, God says that often.

God made a covenant with Noah, who knew nothing of physics.

“I’ll make a rainbow so I don’t forget, for I am so forgetful, that I don’t wipe out the Earth again with floods.”

Noah planted grapes, made wine, got drunk and got naked in his tent.

Ham, the father of Canaan, walked in and saw him.

One might think, so what.

But no, Shem and Japheth walked in backward and covered their dad so he wouldn’t be naked.

Vs. 25: “Cursed be Canaan:
The lowest of slaves
Shall he be to his brothers.” EQ.

I think I understand. The believers of the Bible are saying, “We are fucking insane and will kill anyone for any reason at all and especially if you question the authority of our God. Morons.


chapters 10 - 12