aaron_the fall of america_chapter_32

Chapter 32

My life had become cluttered with garbled garbage that was constantly being pushed in at me. I had been tossed and flopped about in events in which I had wanted no part. I feared that my future would be a struggle against mindless, gluttonous, manipulating murderers who exploited life to gain the illusion of power and the disassociating conveniences and pathetically animated sexual favours that money bought. There was no concern for the destruction that was left behind. No one cared that there was nowhere to go after we had devoured and poisoned our delicate balloon.

There was a vacuum in the human consciousness. I suspected that consciousness was transitory. It was merely a short-lived mutation for a few generations; something quickly breaded out. We had evolved into a cancer, negating our membership to the whole.

"How are you?" Karna asked.

"I'm as good as someone like me can be. And you?"

"I'm fine."

"I have to tell you once more; this is dangerous and you might be getting yourself into big trouble if you come with me. It would make much more sense if you stayed here. I can do this on my own."

"I think you will need me. I also think it will be fun."

"Fun?"

"You'll have some kind of fun," Richard said.

"It's a magnificent view," Karna said.

"Another thing," Richard added, "it will be less conspicuous for two to travel in military clothing. You will need her even if just for that."

Richard went over the details of our trip one more time while we waited on the steps of a church overlooking the Bay of Fundy. He had had a seaworthy fishing boat prepared for us. If we could get to America in it undetected, we would be relatively inconspicuous wearing our American military clothing.

"It's 17:52. Leave now and you'll meet the logging ship coming from Saint John. Stay as close as you can to it and you won't attract any attention passing by American waters. The tide is going out for the first part of your trip. You'll average about twenty kilometres per hour in relation to the shore. At about 04:50, you should be able to sneak into Acadia National Park before the sun comes up. There's little room for error. Make sure you sink the boat in deep water or there will be thousands of people looking for you. By tomorrow evening, I'll have a small rowboat hidden at the northern end of Lake Chiputneticook. You'll have to cross in the dark. Even if you get there in the early morning you have to wait until dark. There's a church on the Canadian side where I'll have a beacon all night, every night, until you come back."

"Don't worry, Richard. We'll be all right."

"Make sure he contains himself, Karna. If he flips his lid, it's all over."

"We'll try to be back for Christmas," she said.

"If we're late, save us some turkey," I said.

"Okay, go. Good luck."

Richard gave us each a hug then jumped in his jeep and was gone before we got to the boat. Once on the boat, we untied it and started out along the shore.

"Here we go."

"I have never been in a boat before," Karna said.

"Well blow my mind."

"How shall I do that?"

"Drive the boat. This is the throttle. The more you pull it back, the faster we go. This is the steering wheel. If you want to go to the right, you turn the wheel to the right."

"That sounds simple enough."

"It is if there aren't too many variables."

"Such as," Karna inquired.

"Waves, logs and sea monsters."

"Sea monsters?"

"No, just kidding."

As soon as we had reached open water, we were next to the ship we were to hide beside.

"Stay fairly close to this ship but not too close. Stay on this side. Don't go ahead or behind it. That's your job. I'm going to try to sleep for a while. Call me if you have trouble or you get tired. Around midnight you can sleep. We should get as much sleep as possible tonight because we might not get the chance tomorrow."

"Kiss me and tell me how much you love me."

"Okay."

I went below and found a musky smelling mattress to lay on.

"And don't turn on any lights," I yelled.

"Yes, Boss."

It was dark enough and smelled musky enough that I could imagine I was lying on the ground of a foreign planet not knowing where or who I was. I worked on discerning what it was I knew, how I knew it and how that helped me know I was me. It was important to have a frame of reference to make the picture clear. I wound my way through enough thoughts that I came out hours later from a very deep sleep.

I opened my eyes and saw nothing.

The sound of the engine and the waves and the sensation of rising and falling focused my awareness to being in a boat.

With only a few minutes deliberation, I rolled from my mattress and went up to join Karna.

"It's bloody cold, Captain," I said.

"You can hold me, that might warm you."

"That's a capital idea. Are you still having fun?"

"In a meditative way."

"Any sea monsters?"

"Just three small ones."

"That's lucky. You should try to get some rest now."

"After you hold me for a while."

We studied the map once again for added job involvement. We disgust the topography of the land, the road system and the quickest way back to Canada once we left Bangor. We had gone over the same thing with Richard countless times. It was the question of finding Susan that was not solvable until we were acting in the event.

After looking at the old picture we had of Susan, I let Karna take the little flashlight we were using. She went below to get a few hours sleep. It was some time until my eyes adjusted to the near absolute darkness; there was no light but for a few on the ship. The ocean made me feel lonely and if it wasn't for the soothing repetition of the waves, I might have just laid on the floor and gave in. The longer I stared into the darkness, the more I feared being swallowed by a monster from the deep. I started wishing there was a god. I wanted someone to be responsible. I wanted meaning.

The night dragged on with little to keep me awake but growing paranoia. Often would I look beside me or behind me expecting something was there. It made me wonder what it meant to be beside one’s self. The conversation in my head had grown from two to several, the added one always being the new mediator. An outside voice was laughing at my feeble resistance. My eyes hurt. They were taking me.

"How much longer, Captain?"

"I won't."

"Won't what?"

"Jumping Jesus!"

"Did I wake you?"

"What are we doing?"

"You are in charge. Remember?"

"Oh, yes. I remember. That's right. I'm in charge. So I have to decide who I am, where I am and what we should be doing."

"I hope that is not too much all at once."

"It seems funny," I admitted.

"What seems funny?"

"I don't know. It just seems absurdly funny."

We agreed to check the charts and instruments to calculate our location. It was good that Karna had disturbed me out of my trance, for it was time to go to shore. It was still dark and foggy while we navigated our way along the coast of America. We rounded the island park, Acadia, and found the first suitable place to dock. The black sky was starting to become grey.

"Well, here we go."

"The beginning of the adventure?" Karna asked.

"If it's completely uneventful, I won't be disappointed."

"I don't believe you."

"Watch this."

I showed her how to tie a slip knot.

"Okay."

"Tie us to that heavy log."

When Karna had tied the knot, I took the axe and went into the hull of the boat to chop a hole. When the water rushed in, I hurried up to the cabin to put the throttle on low.

"Let 'er go," I said as I jumped off the boat.

"Just pull?" she asked as she did it.

We watched the boat drift toward deeper water. The boat slowly sank and the sun crept over the ocean burning a hazy light through the fog.

"It's almost too beautiful," I said.

"Um."

"The way the ocean swallows our trail."

"It sounds poetic but maybe we should remember why we are here."

"Ah, right. And what's that?"

"You are in charge," Karna reminded me.

"Oh, then I suggest we get a wiggle on."

"A what?"

"Let's get moving."

We climbed a fairly steep cliff and plotted our way to Ellsworth. It was a Sunday morning and no one was yet stirring. It was past six when we had passed through the town and started on the road to Bangor. We paused for a light snack from the small supply of food we had brought. We sat at the side of the road and used a rock as a table.

"What is that there?"

"It's a chipmunk."

"It's coming up to us."

"He thinks you might share a little food if he looks cute enough."

"Should I?"

"A piece of bread shouldn't hurt him."

"Come here, chipmunk," Karna urged.

"I think the only thing we can do is steal a car."

"The only thing?"

"One thing."

"Can you do that unnoticed?"

"With proper timing, we can. Everyone will go to church today from eleven till noon. We'll break into someone’s house, take the keys to the car and drive to Bangor. We'll hide the car. By the time they find it, we'll be gone."

"You know best."

After we finished eating and feeding the chipmunk, we continued up the road until we came to a farm.

"This will do," I said.

We stole into the barn to hide until the family left for church. From the loft, we could look through cracks between the wall boards. There we could monitor the activity in the house.

It wasn't any warmer in the barn but it felt more comfortable with complacent animals to keep us company.

Soon after we had settled in the loft, a young boy came to do his morning chores. I thought about jumping down, greeting him with a big smile and helping him feed the animals. I decided we were better off if I didn't. It was like being a criminal watching the boy with out him knowing we were there.

He gave water to the chickens, goats, sheep and horses. Following that ordeal, he gave each of the animals their appropriate grains or hay. Finishing that, he collected several eggs before standing halfway up on the gate that kept in the goats. He tried to urinate on them. He went on explaining things to them as he waved his penis at them. I couldn't understand what he was saying; it sounded like he had something in his mouth.

When he finished his ritual with spitting on the chickens, he took his basket of eggs and headed back to the house. Back to the house where they would have a hot breakfast with fresh eggs, maybe home-fries and toast.

"I want some too."

"Some what?"

"Hot breakfast."

"Why did he try to urinate on the animals?"

"I don't know. Maybe to demonstrate the pecking order or maybe just pubescent stress."

"What kind of animals are they?"

"Those are goats. Some people like to eat the young ones. Some like them for their milk. You can make good cheese with goats milk. I like them."

"To eat?"

"To watch. They are funny."

"They make jokes?"

"They are just silly. They eat anything and have bad manners. Some people hate them, especially if they live on an island where the goats have eaten everything there. They are a bit like us that way. Those fat birds in the cages are chickens. We've used them for eggs and meat for thousands of years. And those there are sheep. We eat them and use their milk for cheese and make clothes out of their wool and use their fat for skin care products."

"And do you eat those larger animals?"

"Not so much on this continent. Horses are used mostly for riding. That's a good idea. We'll take horses. They can find their way home when we leave them. No one will know what direction we went. They might not even suspect anything if we don't use saddles.

"You are starting to get excited about this adventure."

"Maybe a little but I'll be glad when it's completed."

"So you can start another one?"

"Not in this country if I can help it. Something has gone wrong here with these myopic puritans. They're racing in a dangerous direction."

"What was it like before you left?"

"America. It used to be very different before it was America. It was a wild land full of life. The only humans were several million natives. They lived with the land instead of off it. They had superstitions and war like any other people but their beliefs were more conducive to the rest of life. Our problem, the great western mind, is that we live off the land."

"Where are the people that were here before?"

"Many died. The boats from across the water brought the end of their civilisation. That Spanish Catholics armed with recently discovered gunpowder and a most arrogant belief system, took the land from Mexico to the bottom of South America. They convinced many of the natives that they were what they had needed, so now most people are a mix of the Spanish and natives."

"What happened in North America?"

"The French and English were killing each other and the natives that were in the way. Many natives that weren't shot and scalped for twenty-five dollars reward, died of diseases the dirty white man brought with him."

"So much killing."

"That's the way we are. We've got strange ideas, usually involving gods we create. All through our history we have been fighting. When one people decides to take what another people has, they say a prayer to their god and murder the people, most times children and animals included, that are in their way. When one people are dead, the other people inherit their wealth and what they can take from the land."

"So the killing is for the land."

"That and just eliminating what is different. In the bible that this country carries, the chosen people slaughter many people they believed not fit to live. Many of the stories tell of the wars and slaughters."

"You make it sound so harsh."

"Every country has a history of inhumanity to man. America was one of the more recent. People think we live in different times now but they are fooling themselves. Nations come and go. What's here now is equally transitory as every other nation that is now history. When I look at this country I wonder if it has fallen already and they are just wading through the electronic rubble."

"Someone is coming."

It was the boy again. He came to open the doors that opened to the field. The animals didn't make a move for the snow covered field.

"Go shit in the snow," he yelled at them.

Banging a stick, he chased the sheep out.

When his mother yelled from the house, he hurried back.

I tried to explain to Karna about history. With as much as I knew, it soon became a muddled rave. Luckily the family left for church before Karna was over loaded with my sour discourse.

"We better go now."

We climbed down from the loft. With some rope we had, I made simple bridles and reins for our horses. I told Karna what little I knew about horses and how to ride them.

"Do you feel okay?" I asked when I had helped her up onto her horse.

"It's beautiful," Karna answered. "Why does it allow me on it's back?"

"Once you brake a horse, they accept it."

"How do you brake a horse?"

"I don't but some people know how to tame a horse by riding it and once it's tame it's usually a friendly domesticated creature."

After Karna was comfortable with riding, which didn't take long, we set the horses into a trot down the side of the road. Though I sensed we were riding into insurmountable problems, I was starting to enjoy our mission. The more I thought about getting out of America, the more my future seemed unrealistic. There was no way back except to continue. We would have to accept the consequences for believing in a un-American right.

I laughed.

"What is funny?"

"I was just thinking of a classic movie where one of the two main characters, Elwood that is, said, 'We're on a mission from God,'"

"Elwood worked for God?"

"I don't know about that but they believe in the kids at the orphanage that needed five thousand dollars to pay back rent."

"Do you feel you are in a movie now?"

"I wish I was so I could have read the script?"

After a pleasant and uneventful ride to Bangor, I took the bridles and reins off the horses and sent them back towards their home.

We leaned against a fence to study the map of Bangor one more time. From my understanding of where we were, we had a short walk ahead to the children's institution. I shook the snow off the map before folding it up and putting it in my pocket.

"I keep hoping things are going to work perfectly, as they have thus far, but my anxiety is reeking havoc on my stomach. Let's be quick about this without looking frantic."

Karna kissed me as if it might be the last one she gave me for a while.

I made sure her hair was well under her hat. After there was nothing I could do to delay our proceeding, we set off on our short hike to the institution.

At the institution, we had no trouble getting in. There was no reason to suspect two American military personal. If the uniforms of authority couldn't be trusted, we had little chance of success.

"I hope she's still here. I hope we recognise her. I hope she knows we're here to help her."

"She will trust us," Karna said.

"Let's hope so."

We walked through the building without anybody questioning our presence. It was lunchtime when we discovered the cafeteria. We stood by the counter to watch as the children went through the procedures of obtaining their food. It made me wonder if it was at all familiar, though I was sure I was never raised in an institution. I tried to imagine who I'd be if I had no family to raise me."

In my day dreaming, I soon forgot what I was doing and why I was where I was. When I noticed Karna in a military uniform, the picture came to focus. She was watching the children intently.

"There she is," Karna said.

I looked toward where she was looking. The girl looked so much like Ashley that I wanted to run up to hug her. I held my self and played my role. We had to get her out of the room without a disturbance. My increased anxiety told me we were fast losing our chance.

I felt the space-craft pulling me toward a void by way of falling into a large star.

I looked at Karna with intention to ask her what we should do. I was surprised to see she was already doing something, though I wasn't sure what it was. Susan was watching us and when she had received her food, she walked out of her way to pass by us.

"After you take your tray to your seat, meet us in the corridor," Karna said.

"How'd she know to come to us?"

"She's been waiting a long time for us to come," Karna answered.

I had to accept Karna's reply but I felt I had missed something.

We stepped back out into the corridor.

"Afternoon," a woman said in passing.

"Afternoon," I replied.

"She doesn't trust us," Karna said.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"She was surprised to see me."

"I would prefer not to believe you."

"Your belief would be wrong."

"What else is new?"

"What will she do?"

"Nothing to make our job easier."

We watched her walk down the corridor at an increasing pace. She looked back at us before entering an office. Karna was obviously right.

"Shit, piss, fuck!"

"We are in trouble?"

"Up shit creek if we don't get out of here."

My heart was pounding when I stepped back into the cafeteria to see if I could get Susan to hurry. Everyone seemed to notice my urgency.

Susan had just stood up. Noticing me looking at her, one of the workers told Susan to return to her seat. Susan looked at the woman then at me. It was unlikely Susan remembered what her father looked like but I took my hand off hoping she would see me as a friend rather than the authority.

"Susan!" the woman now bellowed like the sound of a closing iron maiden.

I wanted to call her but I couldn't get enough air to speak.

An older girl ran up to Susan and, taking her by the hand, hurried her to the door.

"Susan, I'm your uncle. We've come to take you back to your mom and dad."

"She doesn't talk but she understands," her friend said. "I'm coming with you."

"I can't take you."

"Susan is my friend."

"Shit."

Three workers were running toward us. We hurried out the door into the corridor. Down the hall, the woman also emerged from her office with intent to stop us. She had a gun.

"I thought these fuckin' suits would buy us some respect," I complained.

"Your friend's a woman," Susan's friend said.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. How do we get out of her now?" I yelled.

"This way," our guide said.

She and Susan led the way down the hall. I felt I was breaking a school rule by running.

"Stop," four voices yelled behind us.

"Get back," the farthest voice yelled.

A bullet ripped along the wall behind us just ahead of the load shock wave pushing threw the corridor. Another bullet hit the ceiling as we rounded the corner into a long corridor.

"No!"

I thought the corridor was stretching.

We hit the end before I had dared to hope and I slammed into the door.

"Jesus Christ!"

"They locked the doors," Susan's friend explained. "From the main office."

"Shit."

I kicked the door repeatedly and slammed into it a couple more times.

"Look out," I demanded.

I put a round of bullets through the small window above the door.

"Get on my back," I told Karna.

I handed her the gun to smash the remaining glass around the perimeter of the window.

Karna let out a grunt when she had climbed through and fell head first on the other side of the door.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes."

I passed Susan, then her friend through.

"Stop!" the woman with the gun yelled when she came into the corridor. A bullet exploded in the wall beside me.

"Fuck you!"

I grabbed the window sill. A piece of glass dug into my hand. With the sound of a bullet digging into the door beside me, I pulled myself into the window.

"Get going," I yelled.

The girls started running. As soon as Karna had helped me down, we followed across the field. There was a two-meter fence to climb but it barely slowed us. In a few minutes, we were well away from the children's home. We couldn't keep running blind, so we busted into a warehouse to take refuge. The authorities would be searching the streets for us soon; we needed an escape plan.

We rested a few minutes before talking.

"I'm Bonnie."

"Bonnie," Karna repeated. "I am Karna and this is Susan's uncle, Aaron."

I listened to Karna and Bonnie talk but I couldn't focus enough to respond to anything being said. I put a chip in my gun with the sudden fear that I would soon need to use it. I could sense the near future like it had already visited me. When I looked at the door, I was surprised to see that nobody was there.

"We have to go," I whispered.

"What?"

"Someone's here. I can feel him climbing up my back."

I looked back to the door to see my fear actualised.

"Get down!"

I pushed Karna and the girls behind a wooden crate but not before a bullet grazed Susan's arm. Another bullet tore a large hole through the crate and exploded in the wall behind us. Another bullet sang off the wall.

"Mother fucker!"

I looked out to aim my gun as if I was accustomed to using such a weapon. The gun seemed to know what to do without my intentions. The law enforcer must not have expected me to shoot him because he stood unprotected, rooted inside the door frame. Three more bullets ripped through the crate before I could squeeze the trigger.

My first shot hit the wall beside him. He looked surprised even when the next bullet hit him in the chest. He stood transfixed, like a cemetery stone angle, for a few more seconds before he crumbled to the floor. I ran over to inspect his condition. There wasn't much doubt; he had a hole in his chest big enough to drive a truck through.

I picked up his gun and pulled out the clip. I hurled the weapon across the room in anger. I was mad at America for being cowboys. On the dead man, I found a couple more clips and some money. I stoked the items in my jacket and ran back to check on Susan. Her arm was bleeding but the bullet had only grazed her.

"I'll get you a new shirt," I said as I ripped her sleeve off to make a rap.

She smiled.

"You look so much like your mother," I said. "We have to get you back to her so you can grow up to be as smart as her."

On our way out, I took the dead man's coat off and put it over Susan's shoulders. We ran down the short hall to the open side door. A bullet hit the door as we ran out into the snow. I shot back but couldn't see if I hit the man in the darkness of the hall. The snow was good to cover our tracks but it was too far to hike to the border with the authorities looking for us.

"How the hell do we get out of here?" I asked myself.

Susan handed me some keys she had found in the man's coat.

"Thank someone's bloody god. That must be the car right there."

Though the car was a gift, our chances of escape became less likely with each passing minute. Even if the roads were clear, it might take us two hours to get to the boat. I reached down to grab some snow on the way to the car. It was yet wet. It wasn't much below freezing. I threw the snow at Karna.

"Are we having fun yet?"

"More than I could have imagined," she answered.

If I had hit the second man, there might not be any suspicion about a military car cruising down the quiet roads.

"You young ladies will have to lay down until we're out of town," I said.

I kept hoping the authorities might not expect us to be so bold as to head for the border but the hope was based purely on fantasy and blatant lack of foresight.

For quite some time, until the junction that would take us north to Danforth, the drive was uneventful. There awaited a roadblock. They must not have suspected that we were in a military car, for they failed to react until we passed by nodding politely.

I looked in the rare view mirror to see four military cars pull away from the roadblock to chase us.

"Get up here, girls."

When they had scrambled into the front seat, I shot out the back window.

"It's dog fight time, Karna. You're the rear gunner."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Shoot at the cars. Hit the radiator or a tire."

"What's a radiator?"

"It's in the front behind the grill."

"I've never used a gun."

"It's the easiest thing. Point the end in the direction you want the bullet to go, then squeeze the trigger. Go on. Get in the back and try it."

"You have strange ways here," she said and climbed over the seat.

She caught on to the task quickly. I had allowed the pursuers to catch up with us so that Karna could shoot at them. The first car she hit blew a tire and spun on the road and took another car with it to the ditch. The third car drove off the road when Karna hit their wind shield.

"There's no more bullets."

"Give me the guns."

I changed the clips for her.

"Watch it!" Bonnie screamed.

I had almost driven into the ditch while paying too much attention to the rear-view mirror and the changing of the clip.

"No worries," I lied.

A bullet took out my side mirror and I quickly passed the guns back to Karna. A few more bullets hit the car before Karna emptied the guns into the pursuer’s car.

"More?" Karna asked and passed me the guns.

I looked in the mirror to see the car stopped in the middle of the road and two men aiming there guns at us. We were quickly out of range.

"That should be it for now," I said.

"That was fun," said Bonnie.

"Lots of fun, till someone looses an eye or a head," I said.

After a short race down the road, I stopped by the lake that was to have the boat. I took my jacket off to give it to Bonnie.

"In those trees across there, there's a cottage, take the boat; and use the compass or you'll row in circles."

"Row?" Bonnie asked.

"Motors will attract attention."

"What if there's someone home?" Bonnie asked.

"It won't be a problem. Go."

"Are you not coming?" Karna asked.

"It won't be long before more follow. They will find us if they find the car. Now go. It's snowing heavily and it will be dark soon. You'll be fine."

"You are going to lead them away," Bonnie said.

"I learned the from a bird."

Susan kissed me on the cheek before getting out.

"See you soon?" Karna asked.

"I hope so, but who knows when?"

"I want you to come soon, or I'll come back to find you."

"No. Don't come back."

I kissed Karna before pushing her out of the car. It was hard to let her go.

"Bye." Bonnie said.

"Move your asses!"

They ran across the field through the ever deepening snow. In a hundred strides, they were almost hidden from view by the falling snow. In a few minutes they would be hidden by the trees and soon after by the night.

I started along the road again. It was getting more difficult to keep control of the car in the deep wet snow. It was ten minutes before I saw headlights behind me. I sensed there was little chance of escape now that they understood what they were after. The most I could do was to drag them as far from the lake as possible.

A bullet passed by my head, into the front window.

"Bastards!"

I picked up a gun from the seat and aimed it out the back window. There was only a click.

"Shit."

I searched myself for another cartridge before remembering they were in the jacket I had given to Bonnie.

"Shit."

More bullets near my head were suggesting my end was near. I slammed on the brakes, and sliding sideways, accelerated into a side road. I looked back to see three cars colliding and sliding off the road.

I was out of sight before they could get started again. Every few seconds was another stroke of the oars.

The road became increasingly worse and the snow hid the bumps so that I couldn't avoid them. The car was well out of control but my mental state would not allow me to slow. I needed more distance.

Time and distance past relatively well for what felt like an endless drive along a horrendous road. I was feeling good about my chances until I suddenly thought about fuel. The gage was indicating the tank was empty. The auto chase would soon be over, I would have to hike to the boarder.

When I looked up, I saw a large mound on the road. I tried to avoid it. The back end only swerved to make it worse. The crunch of metal bending and braking echoed in my head. Snow filled the car after it flipped and slid along the road into a ditch then up into a tree.

I sensed no pain, only urgency. It was still too soon to be caught.

After narrowly wedging out of the back window, I ran to the woods. I picked up a fallen branch before running backwards beside my other prints. It might look as though two people; possibly carrying children, had run into the woods.

I ran along the clean path I had ploughed with my upturned car. The branch dragged behind me to sweep away evidence of my single prints. When I heard cars coming up the road, I ducked into the woods and ran in the opposite direction of the double prints. I swept wildly as I went. The falling snow covered my sweep marks in seconds.

I stopped to listen for a minute. I could barely make out voices after the cars stopped. Going back to hear what they were saying struck me as an interesting idea but my need to keep moving won out against curiosity. There were certain to be dogs with the arrival of reinforcements. With the thought of tracking dogs, I dropped my sweeping tool to concentrate on running. Running was all I could do.

When my lungs could function no longer, I clung to a low branch, gasping. Without a coat, it was soon too cold to be motionless.

Blood was on the snow. The more I watched the spot, the larger it grew. It was obviously coming form my head. Too much of it was coming out. It was in my hair, on my face, down my neck and soaking into my wet shirt.

My arms hung limp over the branch and I started to sway just enough to imagine sitting on a swing. "Everything would be okay," I heard myself say. "Everything's going to be all right."

Barking woke me from my trance. It was a long distance off and it didn't seem to matter. Nothing was mattering anymore but I thought I better get away from the dogs.

"The dogs are coming. They want to eat me. Fuckin' dogs want to eat me."

Everything was covered in white and more white was falling.

I pushed away from the tree with intentions set on running. The ground rushed up to hold me.

"I got to go," I said.

The ground didn't want to let me up. The ground probably thought I didn't have anywhere more important to go than where I was. But eventually it let me up so that I could stagger through the white woods.

"Pretty."

But the dogs kept barking.

I was starting to wonder if I was thirsty, when like manna in the morning dew, I found a stream. Remembering about movies and dogs, I ran up the stream quite pleased with myself until I felt too dizzy to go on. I knelt down to drink.

The water was heaven. I drank until I could drink no more. When I thought to decide what next to do, the water reached up to take me into its warm embrace.



read on. book_03 chapter_33



by Joanne B. Washington

© 2001 | the jose wombat project