chapter 13

In a way, I've always been what I am. I have gathered knowledge, folly and wisdom. The child that I was back in the woods, the sexless and innocent kid, is still me. The added sexual longing adds to the inspiration needed to under take the creating and making of things.

Perhaps I see and understand the workings of the fantasy theater that is our stage somewhat in contradiction to the world of the obvious physical reality of the world the theater tells us is beyond us. A common belief to believe that somewhere else is a better place to get to.

But we ramble. Looking for inspiration or perhaps simple distraction. An occupation. I am occupied as a writer. Which makes me a participant.

The trick is to mold the ideas into something someone will give me money for. Get my bit of plunder.

But not all is plunder. And we are the addicts. Never getting enough. We thought the Earth's supply was ours for the taking and we could take all what we wanted. We made laws to make certain the elite got the most and the slaves, better know now as working, class can do the actual plundering and manufacturing.

Now we know the elite are criminally insane myopic ignorant asshole primates and like 'The Wizard of Oz' and a million other stories have tried to tell us.

Behind their big lie. The mask. The front. The load and smokey theater. They are screaming little brats who think it is funny to play god and not let anyone else play god.

Fuck 'em. Flog them. Beat them silly and revoke them of their authority. If we lose a few things in the process, we will have to cope. Paradise is a small place until we learn to create what we have, what we are. Move it to new structures we build in space. Take life to the moon and mars. We have asked too little and accepted too little. And we must not forget that we include many other life forms.

We have eternity. It sounds fiction in our cheep theater of die and go to heaven. It's a mockery. And the curtain is falling. And now I must try something else. Wind down for the day.

The funny thing is. I'm looking forward to working again. Give the monitory topic another run. Amass so much money that I can buy America and turn it into a permanent protected park land. And not for fucking cars.

Fuckin' stupid things. Fucking car driving societies. What a joke. What marketing.

"Everyone needs a car."

"No one needs a car."

"They do now."

chapter 14

If Jesus was alive today, he would be me. Most people who say that are crazy. Most people who don't say such crazy things are also crazy. What we are and what we are doing is crazy.

"You are the chosen one, the one who will deliver the message." Tool.

That's the sort of shit I always hear and see and read. So I think it's fairly simple. Anyone can be Jesus. Jesus was just a bastard kid with an obsession to understand and thus contradict his ancestor's laws. Their religion of random laws given down by a character know as Moses. The biggest prick, bless his crazy soul, in written history. Sure there were others but he is the standard.

Son and grandson of the Pharaoh and son of the daughter of the Pharaoh. Didn't like it. Went to the Slave class to make soldiers of genocide and plunder. And he chose the slaves that the God of Moses had chosen.

One tribe from all the tribes of humans, never mind the other animals.

And the story about 40 years in the desert or even 40 days fasting on mountains, it's all fiction. But what has become part of us is the laws of Moses.

And the laws were made to keep the slave class slave class and the elite could carry titles of Lord, King, Duke, Lady, Priest, Lawyer and Jesus said.

"That's a crock of shit, Moses."

"It's the way it's always been. In our house we worship the Lord God Almighty. God of Abram, Isaac and Jacob."

"Well, the Laws of Moses and the God of Moses and the other bastards is a bald face lie. And it is such an obvious bald face lie that no one even begins to perceive, that when I have screamed load and long enough, the world will awake the animal and the angel in man, woman and child. And when Religion dissolves before our eyes, we will wake like it was the first time. And it will be that. It will be a rude awakening for many. It will, however, reveal heaven. We will see that we are in heaven. And we will see that we are angels. And that eternity goes both ways and we are always in the middle of it.

And when we start creating, we will be the gods. And what will happen then is anyone's guess.

Perhaps I hope to read what I write in 2,000 years. To remember what I am.

Less we forget and allow crazy animals to tell us we aren't animals, that instinct and evolution is not our god. That something outside and beyond gives a fucking rat's ass what animated water and mineral sacks are doing with themselves. Fuck the elite.

chapter 15

"Get obsessed and stay obsessed." Grandfather in Hotel New Hampshire. John Irving.

Now that much info at my head at once is a treat. Hopefully it's right. But the point is universal information. Someone has to say it eventually. That's a cool thing about writing. When you least expect it, you come up with something that makes you sound clever. Then people can think about you and remember you for what you said. And that could be understood as a confession.

I want people to remember me, love me, and think about what i said.

And admittedly there are a few I would like to get into my bed.

But there I have become a fool. I fall in love with impossibly young and beautiful creatures. Far too often. And what's worse is I am not interested in a cure for this condition. Who in heaven would care to reject the love of an angel.

We'll keep you posted on sex. Should it happen, some hint will appear. Perhaps the avoidance of talking about it. Which leads nicely to the Jesus Christ story. My fav of all fairy tales.

Most people think Jesus was a virgin and so was his mom.

Well. It is horse shit. A priestly lie to make the main characters of their bloody religion look like near impossible super heroes of the one true story

Most people have never stopped to even wonder if Mary wasn't really a virgin at the time of the birth of her first son. They rather accept the obvious incongruence and saintliness.

"King Herod raped my mother. I am a Roman and a Jew."

"Sorry, Jesus. Can't sell that. Too believable. They won't have any cause to kill for your mother's honour. And you gotta be a virgin too."

"I've got three kids already."

"We'll call them demons. No one will know."

Well, in the end of the book, the John gospel, he's got seven from Mary Magdalene. And if we are to believe other details, John gives us. He's had sex with married couples. And if you want to go out just a little on a limb. It was a little odd for him to be naked but for a towel while he washed the feet of all of his disciples. If he thought he might die, many did on crosses, he may have needed some serious sex. And lots of it.

Maybe not. But he rejected the teachings of his ancestors. He understood instinct and evolution.

I hear objection. So I will elaborate it to death.

Bitch.

"You must be born again."

All the ways this has been interpreted could make a young scholar dizzy.

What he meant by you must be born again was, you must be born again.

Funny really. Some would call this reincarnation. Well what is reincarnated. The believer says soul. The non believer say horse shit.

On the other hand, what is evolution. Life took hold of this planet about 2 billion years ago.

In this universe, life is not unusual in simple form because there is much water and water is a real good thing to have for any life form any of us could think of.

It. The all of it for our universe. One, likely of countless. Started as a point. Everything now was at that point. Massive energy. And it was a long everything until there were the heavy elements our planet has.

And so 2 billion years later we, the humans, see that it is we who are doing the perceiving of this part of the universe.

That could be frightening. But it is beyond brilliance. It exceeds impossible. Yet here it is. We are waking up to the fact. The knowledge. That we are the new gods. No matter how you look at it, when the story is understood as both fiction and relative truth. The choice is ours. The universe is a place where it is possible for the nearly impossible to be real from its mere energy and mass. At least this universe is.

So when people ask me, why, if you are an Atheist, do you hammer on the Bible. I say 'cause it is too important a book to be misrepresented by death cults that have the tenacity to make Moses holy, nail Jesus to a cross and accept the babbling of Paul and call the bloody book holy, give up our opportunity to witness heaven, to buy a lie that we don't deserve it.

Fuck that. We are in it. 2 billion years we have been beating our way through evolution with only instinct to guide us.

When Jesus said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand."

He meant.

Wake the fuck up people. We are right fucking here right fucking now and it is all up to us.

We are in the middle of it. And we are the gods. God, the whole of the universe, like Nietzsche said, is dead. Like a seed dies to give birth. And we are just starting to blossom.

peep! duck.


chapters 16 - 18