chapter 31

vs. 6: I have also granted skill to all who are skillful, that they make everything that I have commanded you. EQ.

vs. 11: Just as I have commanded you, they shall do. EQ.

We are still up on the mountain, the Lord God Almighty and Moses. Or the Megalomaniac Lord Moses tripping on too much wine and red meat or the altitude or an inherited mental disorder from having his father and grandfather be the same person.

Again, we digress. We are back with Sabbath rules.

Vs. 14: He who profanes it shall be put to death: EQ.

Vs. 15: whoever does work on the Sabbath shall be put to death. EQ.

Spare the sword. Spoil the hoard.

Vs: 17: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day He ceased from work and was refreshed. EQ.

In truth, God was on a drinking binge those six days. On the seventh he had a hell of a hangover and needed a quite day. With no bloody bells ringing.

Anyone don’t like it. Kill ‘em.

Because He is the God of Genocide and is disgusted with everything he does and likes nothing better than to wipe it out.


chapter 32

The people were still not convinced. They started losing faith with Moses gone up in the mountain. Fuckin’ with his Lord.

They cried out, “Moses is gone. Aaron must make a new religion. Give us another God. One we can see.” EQ.

Vs. 2: “Take off the gold rings that are on the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, EQ.

Vs. 4: This he took from them and cast in a mold and made it into a molten calf. EQ.

A baby cow.

“Here’s your new fuckin’ god. Worship it.”

So they did. And the Lord got wind of it. As they say.

“I will kill them all,” said the Lord.

Vs. 12: Let not the Egyptians say, ‘It was with evil intent that He delivered them, only to kill them off… EQ.

Moses argued that after dragging the fuckin’ army out of Egypt, it would be a waste and unnecessary to kill them all. What about your promise to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Come on God.

“Oh, shit, I forgot.”

Vs. 14: And the Lord renounced the punishment He had planned to bring upon his people. EQ.

So Moses went on down, saw the calf and had a fit. Smashed his pretty little random law for idiots tablets and burnt the baby cow, the Gold one. Ground it into a powder, mixed it in the drinking water and forced his people to drink it.

But even if the thing was ten stories high, which it wasn’t on account Gold ain’t. A few million thirsting desert dwellers wouldn’t hardly notice.

Moses chewed out Aaron for letting his people get out of control.

“I’m gone 40 days and you make a new god. How are we going to get these morons to follow the one true one if they get a new one every time I go to the mountain.”

“Well, fuck. They wanted something to worship and you weren’t here.”

Then Moses jumped up and demanded to know who was still with him and his Lord.

The Levites came running.

“We are with the Lord with the biggest sword.”

“In the name of the Lord, go kill brother, neighbor, and kin.”

So they did.

After they had put 3,000 family members to the sword, the rest were ready to worship Moses again.

The next quote is very true and worth serious deliberation.

vs. 31: “Alas, this people is guilty of a great sin in making for themselves a god of gold.” EQ.

In fact, it may be the same word. Gold. God.

The Lord sent a plague to punish the Hebrews. Who, by the way, were not all from one family. One religion.

Vs. 35: Then the Lord sent a plague upon the people, for what they did with the calf that Aaron made. EQ.

Now, thousands of years later, we could speculate that living in a pile of shit festering with maggots in the hot sun could add to the possibility of a plague.


chapter 33

Then the Lord tells Moses it’s time to move. The various ‘ites’ were still alive and living in a land with loads of milk and honey. In the desert, the army had a little warm sheep and goat milk. Manna for the poor. Lamb meat for the priests.

The lord was still pissed at his people. Too bad the Lord was such a reckless idiot. Had he taken 12 days instead of 6, maybe his people wouldn’t be such a bunch of fools.

Vs. 3: But I will not go in your midst, lest I destroy you on the way.” EQ.

Vs. 5: “Now, then, take off your finery, and I will think what to do to you.’ EQ.

Easier than giving a few million people a spanking.

Kill a few. The rest obey.

Just like it’s still done today.

Moses had his tabernacle for him and his sex slaves pitched outside of camp so he could have load orgies without being disturbed by a few million humans who weren’t allowed to wear their gold jewelry that they had stolen from Egypt.

Moses spoke with the holy trinity. He. Me. Meme. Lord Hemememe. He, Me, We, tried to figure out what to do with the stiffnecked people.

Vs. 10: all the people would rise and bow low, each at the entrance of his tent. 11. The Lord would speak to Moses face to face EQ.

But then the Lord changed his mind, like he so often did. For he was a very uncertain Lord.

Vs. 20: He said, “you cannot see My face, for man may not see Me and live.” EQ.

So the Lord tells Moses to stand on a rock so he can walk by with his, the Lord’s, hand over his, Moses’, face, then Moses can look at his back.

And how is this significant.

Don’t fuckin’ question authority. Get a job and pay taxes.

Obey.


chapters 34 - 36